9.29.2010

An ED Specialist?

Hey.
I'm a kid in middle school who's too fat to be happy.
That's the only introduction I have for you.

My day started at 5:00 when I woke up and went down stairs to do an ab work out. I should do that more often... anyway, after that, I showered. I had to use three kinds of conditioners because my hair has been extremely dry lately... maybe it's because of the lack of food. Damn, is that happening to me already? So, I went downstairs to finish the homework I didn't do last night. I ended up driving to school in the back seat of my mom's car while she and my sister screamed at each other over nothing in the front. School was fine, but I was supposed to be on a no carb diet today, and I broke it by having a bite of the bread they were selling in the caf. Actually, I also had a bowl of pasta too when I came home. Whoops. I think tomorrow I'll just eat a few sticks of celery to make up for it. After my mom drove me a half hour to Jew class and dropped me off, I walked in only to realize there actually was none because of some stupid service for the kids. So I called me mom, and she turned around and picked me up. She wanted to go to some house in Hartford where her great great grandpa used to live with his 13 year old wife, but it actually wasn't there anymore. Instead there was a fenced in parking lot. More useless time wasted. On the way home, I asked for laxatives because I haven't been getting the physical results I've been so desperately needing, but she just started screaming at me. She told me she's gonna take me to a "specialist" who helps girls my age with "eating disorders and self image problems". I don't have an eating disorder, and I don't have a self image problem. I'm a middle school girl who's constantly surrounded by girls with the thinnest, most perfect bodies. Aren't all girls my age trying to lose weight? My response to her suggestion was, "Why don't you just take me to an institution so they can cure me and make me eat pizza all day? You'll be happy if I'm fat, right?". She told me I don't need rehab, I just need to "stop this before it takes over your life". To put it plainly, I'd be glad if striving to be thin, exercising, and having good eating habits took over my life. At least then I might actually become beautiful to other people. Is this lady shes taking me to gonna sit me down and make me eat cupcakes every day? I don't need this. I don't have a problem. I have a solution.