It's Been Ages

You're probably disappointed in me. I can't even keep a blog going... it's been a month and a half since I've posted here. Honestly, I feel like such a failure. Why do I even advertise this blog on PrettyThin if I don't even update it?
I scroll and scroll through countless forum posts, pictures, anything. I'll read and I'll read, but somewhere deep within me, something tells me not to post. I haven't posted much on PrettyThin lately. I haven't been doing well enough. Actually, I've been doing TERRIBLY.
My weight is currently... 117. Probably. I don't know. My scale was taken by my bitch of a mom. I swear, if I still had a god damn scale I might be at 95 right now. Those numbers were my motivation. My push to keep going. Without them... how far can I go on my own? What do numbers even mean anymore?
The lack of an exact measurement of my fat distorts my body image even more. I Don't know what I look like anymore... am I ever going to?

This post was filled with more questions then answers. Sorry, thats all I'm left with.

Weight Loss Vlog

I started a vlog on prettythin, and I'm going to be posting videos of my weight loss every day for maybe 30 days or more. I did it because I think maybe having an audience will help inspire me to lose more. You can only get to the page with the link, so here's the link to the first day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqXOE21mzO4

Giving Up

I'm giving up food. For good. I don't want it and I don't need it and all it does is make me feel terrible. I'm only going to eat it if my parents are around or they're taking me out so they don't get suspicious. But I'm no longer eating because I want to. I'm eating because I have to.
I will win the battle against myself.